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    It shocked that Bette was incorrect, but then, highly eligible, she did, "Nicky Arnstein, Dan Arnstein. Light everything in Bette's elevated stopped suddenly and totally.


    This new freedom started me thinking about my virginity For too many years, I had been blessed with nocturnal emissions or wet dreams - dreams that culminate in an eruption of seminal fluid. Fall asleep; dream about a sexually gratifying scenario and wake up to a pulsating urethra and wet, sticky underwear. It is an out-of-body experience - old school virtual sex - that is real. That reality allowed me to live under my parents roof without a diurnal daytime sexual release. That's right - I was 18 years old and had never masturbated in the truest sense of the word.

    For the first time. No one to walk in on me now! I left the dormitory and walked down 8th Street looking for something to help me pulsate. I passed a news stand and looked at the pornographic magazines. I can't buy a magazine like this. What is this vendor going to say? Is he going to hold up the magazine and yell, "Hey, everyone look at the pimply kid buying his first piece of pornography!!

    I saw a magazine with a picture of Bette Midler on its cover - right next to the miidler issues of the male magazines Blueboy and Drummer. It provided him with an opportunity to exploit the star's appearance, as others had when Hedy Lamarr swam nude in an early film Midler was vulnerable and could be accused of being prejudiced, anti-Christian, and blasphemous, all of which would offend record buyers and concertgoers. He midlwr so and cast around for a place to exhibit it. His film suddenly surfaced in New York -- the stronghold of Bette's public support -- at the Festival Theater under a Bettee title, The Divine Miss M, designed to capitalize on the Midlsr appearance.

    The advertisement promoting the film declared that the movie was made "in the tradition pprn Lenny Bruce and Bettw Alien," and that it would open May 24 at the Festival Theater, Fifty-seventh Street and Fifth Avenue. He instantly counterattacked by flooding the media with Btete releases and public statements attacking the Bdtte nature of the film and the moral motives middler the promoters. He worked behind Bette midler porn scenes midle undercut the film's showing and made those Btte with it oprn the cost of taking on an important star like Bette. Russo believed his aggressive and quick action saved Bette's career.

    For a Jewish Bete performer to have offended Betye audiences by blaspheming Jesus Christ may have hurt Bette beyond rescue, poorn happily, because of Russo, it didn't happen that way. Russo attacked on every front he could think of: Legally he marshaled the lawyers to go into court and get an injunction. Alexander not only advertised in the newspapers, he ran radio ads on stations that played Midler records. Financially, Russo was in touch with Alexander to see if a deal could be made to squash the showing. And when the opening occurred, Russo personally picketed the theater wearing a sandwich board. As Russo recalls the incident: Peter McWilliams had made this movie -- he's now a famous author.

    He made this thing, then tried to open it up on Fifty-sixth Street as her [Bette's] first feature film. They had full-page ads claiming it was her first feature. It was lies and she was hardly even in the movie. She was in France with her boyfriend, Gautier, which made me miserable because I was in love with her. Anyway, I made a sandwich board and went to the theater at eight in the morning because the first show was at noon. I hired a couple of other people to join me. Basically, the sandwich board said, "I'm Aaron Russo, Bette's manager, and this picture was made many years ago.

    Bette doesn't want you to see it and she's hardly even in it. Don't waste your money. It was totally out of devotion. I felt it was my duty. She was my artist and I wanted to protect her. What was really funny was business associates who would pass by -- because it was on Fifty-seventh Street, pretty busy street, and they'd look and almost be past me when they'd hear my voice and say, "Aaron, is that you? The legal action resulted in toning down the ads so that they didn't make the film sound like a Midler extravaganza, and the picketing choked off box-office sales.

    The film slunk out of town with little damage to the Midler reputation. Four years later Peter McWilliams would write The Personal Computer Book, which became a runaway bestseller in the early s, and he founded Prelude Press, a very successful self-publishing operation. Still, he continued to get involved in controversy, with the most notorious being his involvement and dedication to John-Roger, a former Rosemead California high school teacher who founded the Church of the Movement of Spiritual Inner Awareness. In McWilliams attended a personal growth seminar where he was introduced to John-Roger.

    Ten years later McWilliams was depressed about a friend who died from a rare form of tuberculosis and was scared he might have the disease. He turned to John-Roger, who promised to keep McWilliams alive and healthy if McWilliams would list John-Roger as coauthor of all the books he wrote and published and give him half of the profits. Realizing I actually believed all this stuff is humiliating. John-Roger is more recently noted for his connection with biographer Arianna Stassinopolous Huffington, the wife of California Senate candidate Michael Huffington. When Clams opened, it surpassed the expectation of Bette, Russo, the cast, the audience, and the critics.

    The sports at NBC drake from the central building were repackaged she would [use unairable autobiography language] on air No ready how obvious a good was, they would pay together shopping and give your strengths the most desirable Bruises" Mair, page Guest Alexander] that almost forgot her career in New Patagonia.

    It was impossible to find anyone who did not love the show and adore Bette for her versatile talent. Bette was caught up in her own excitement of a production that she relished, "the most mind-bogglingly, Bette midler porn production ever conceived and built around one poor small five-foot-one-and-a-half-inch Jewish girl from Honolulu. All of a sudden I'm a whole industry. People run, they fetch, they cary, they nail, they paint, they sew Do you know what this is? It's a celebration of the sexual rites of a New Yorker! The first act ended with a dramatic illusion created by bringing down one of the far-upstage curtains to reveal the New York skyline with the Empire State Building prominently displayed in the foreground, as seen in the classic picture showing King Kong clinging to the tower.

    It appeared that Bette was asleep, but then, suddenly waking, she exclaimed, "Nicky Arnstein, Nicky Arnstein! It left the audience weak with laughter and an emotional high One of her choice pieces was the sketch about her upcoming porno movie, which was a spoof of Emmanuelle, a real semiporno production in the art theaters during that era. Bette called hers Temple Emmanuelle and told the audience Bette midler porn was about a Jewish girl who was always on the make. All of this offbeat humorous material was accompanied with the renditions of Billie Holiday's poignant blues. The revue ended with a full-voiced production of Bette and a gospel choir, the Michael Powell Ensemble, singing "Gone at Last.

    This was followed by another comedy routine, in which she said she was going to do a sequel to the erotic movie Emmanuelle, called Temple Emmanuelle, in which there was a lot of kissing of mezuzahs a tube containing a household blessing that many Jews attach to the front door of their home. She also noted that in her film, a woman had an unspeakable liaison with a kreplach a turnover or dough pocket with chopped chicken liver or other fillings served in soup. She next went into a play on the word kreplach, saying it was a person who lived in a small Baltic country and that, occasionally, a kreplach escaped to the West.

    The executives at NBC watching from the control booth were terrified she would [use unairable vulgar language] on air She cleaned up the act, toning down the langauge Still, the sexual overtones were there, thus maintaining the Midler flavor. She urged the Harlettes to try staying vertical at least until the first commercial, and when she ended up her rendition of "In the Mood" lying on her back on the floor, she slyly commented to the camera, "My favorite position. How does Marie Osmond do it? The only major medium left for her to conquer [after her NBC television special] was films, and she had had only two experiences in that medium, the bit part in Hawaii that indirectly launched her career in New York and the disastrous cheapo satire of Jesus Christ [The Thorn also known as The Divine Mr.

    Peter Alexander] that almost torpedoed her career in New York. Bette and [offbeat performance artist] Harry Kipper first met inbut neither was attracted to the other. In fact, at the time, he had no idea who Bette Middler was. When they met again while going to clubs in Los Angeles init was instant chemistry and they saw each other full-time for two months. He proposed to her on Saturday night, she said yes, and soon after they were driving from her Los Angeles home to Las Vegas. It was Sunday morning at two A. After they checked in, they changed clothes and went out in search of an all-night wedding chapel.

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    They selected the Candlelight Wedding Chapel, where, to a tape of Juliet of the Spirits, a minister who moonlighted as an Elvis impersonator joined the two lovers as man and wife, Mrs. Martin von Haselberg, on December 16, We didn't know he was an Elvis impersonator till the end of the ceremony when he handed us his single. It was the Chapel of Twilight or something. We got all dressed up The long drive to Vegas had been a lot of laughs. But the long drive back from Vegas was kind of quiet. We were fairly shaken. We went there on a lark, but now it was going to be real.

    When one reporter asked Bette why she was rarely seen in public during this time, she responded, "Why go out? The only reason you go out is to find someone to bring home. She had even been nervous about touring in Germany. He says all Germans don't hate Jews and he does insist upon it. I'm still not comfortable being in Germany. The truth is that even if we were married forever, I don't think he could change my mind about it. But I don't resent him because of his nationality. He is an individual first and the citizen of a country last.

    I never paid much attention to i, but I've been so happy the last year, in a way I didn't think was humanly possible. Scenes From a Mall was a curious movie in many ways and, gratefully, it disappeared from movie screens all around America faster than ice cream at a kids' party. The subject was not one that most audiences appreciated since it centered around domestic discord in a Jewish couple's marriage with much of it filmed in what was supposed to be a multilevel mall in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood in West Los Angeles' Fairfax District called The Beverly Center.

    Only the exteriors were shot there, however, since Woody Allen hates Los Angeles and refused to spend more than a few days there making the film. All the interior shots were done, to accommodate Mr. Allen's Angelesophobia, at a mall in Connecticut. Bette said she loved working with Woody. Woody has been silent on whether or not he loved working with Bette, but the film was not a success for many reasons. Bette did not need the tour to prove that she was a star. And at forty-seven, she had achieved a lot in her lifetime. Personally, she was fulfilled, with a wonderful, but eccentric, husband; he daughter, the headstrong Sophie; and a wonderful Beverly Hills home. She did the tour because she felt "out of touch with my audience.

    I mean, who is my audience these days? A lot of the old fans from the [early days] are gone from AIDS. But then a lot of the really young girls who loved Beaches are going to see the show out of curiosity. She needed to draw power from their presence and interaction. Bette Midler had a lucrative five-picture deal with Disney, but she wouldn't do every project they pitched to her, including Sister Act, which she feared would make fun of Catholicism. In hindsight, most Catholics do not find Sister Act to be offensive at all. It celebrates Catholic nuns more than makes fun of them, but Bette Midler's caution is understandable given her previous experience.

    Sister Act was a good example of the kind of pictures Disney wanted Bette to do that Bette didn't want to do. The plot involves a woman who is witness to some mob activity and becomes a murder target to keep her from testifying in court. Because of some corrupt cops who keep revealing her hiding places, a police detective places her in a convent where she pretends to be a nun and, while there, revitalizes the moribund institution. Disney executives thought this idea was a riot and perfect for Bette. She thought, "Does a Jewish pop singer really want to make of the Catholic Church? Bette doesn't make many public appearances anymore because she has concentrated her life on her home and family, with her career being mostly in movies.

    You have to make your own heaven in your own home. How many after-hours bards can you go to? How many vodka gimlets can you drink? She is a yeller like her father, and Harry is quiet like his father. She felt she had married the best person she knew who wanted to marry her. For seven critical years in Bette Middle's career, following her early successes at the Continental Baths and the small-club circuit in the s, Aaron Russo came into he life and took charge of making her a star. It was standard fare in the stories told about the two that Bette demanded that Russo make her a "legend.

    I didn't tell him to make me a legend. I said I wanted to be one. I said I didn't want to be nothing. What's the point of being in something that you love so much and only being a cipher in it?


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