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    Of course, gnomes tend to be human like the rest of f,orida with some having less misgivings than others. But I think they really need to take it somewhere else. Seems like a gnome zombie plague has infected the garden lately. Yeah, you should always beware of Timi gnome carrying an ax behind his back. But you should defend yourself before these murderous lawn warriors strike. Nevertheless, even gnomes tend to prefer the convenience of a flush toilet as well as a bit of light reading while on the john. Either way, he seems quite groovy, man.

    Of course, these skeleton gnomes dbsm to make great Halloween lawn decor. Seems like this stoner gnome really enjoys lounging around and smoking his grass. Not sure about that tunic though. Seems like Leather Daddy gnome really enjoys watering his garden. Seems like these hairy cons just broke out of the Big Greenhouse. Still, that look seems like Elvis from the Vegas years. For those who want super protection for their gardens, perhaps they should try a superhero gnome. Beware the vampire gnome with his red eyes and fangs, especially when lurking among the tall grass and leaves. Of course, he may look nice during the daytime.

    Yes, this is one scary gnome, indeed. However, he should watch out for any form of salt if he wants his snail ride to last for a long time. Of course, what better way to protect your lawn and garden than with Wonder Gnomeman. Also, she loves flowers, too. And she has a nice yellow cone hat. Even gnomes must dress for business while at their jobs in the corporate marketplace. Nevertheless, you have to love how their cone hats go with their gray suits. Then again, he could just be looking for treasure. Of course, he should realize that certain electric and water systems may also be underground, too. Gnome life chose me.

    Of course, no gnome could say no to the one and only Big Bad Bertha.

    Still, not sure if this makes my post unsafe for work or what. Of course, this is probably the most Jewed out gnome out there. And you thought gnomes enjoyed the sound of flutes and nature sounds. Hear they play at the garden club circuit on Friday nights as well as jam at the recording studio during regular business hours. Still, there have been rumors that their lead singer was arrested for shroom possession. Drummer was also busted for weed and grass as well. Of course, you should never mess with a garden gnome armed with an AK Drunken Spelling Bee, First Monday of each month, 9 p. Come enjoy an interactive tour featuring unusual and entertaining guides on the Ghost Tours and Ghost Hunts, nightly, at Whitehead St.

    Drag shows, Nightly, 7 and 9 p. Karaoke, Monday-Thursday, 11 p. Just Jeff MossThursday-Sunday, p. Ronnie, Monday-Wednesday, p. The Men of Bourbon, nightly www. Drag shows, nightly, 9 and 11 p. Happy hour drag, 5 p. Saturday Drag karaoke, 4 p. Sunday Messy Mondays with Mulysa, 1 a. Kristen McNamara, Wednesday and Saturday, 6: The Fabulous Spectrelles, Oct. Tea Dance, Sunday, Cher Karaoke hosted by Randy Roberts, Oct. Outfits or lack-of-outfits for every theme party are being meticulously plotted out to the tiniest accessory or strategically placed scrap of clothing one must avoid violating public decency laws, after all. Yes, friends, the clouds of glitter in the air can only mean one thing: Maybe youve been stuck under a very large rock for the past few decades; if so, youre forgiven for not knowing what Fantasy Fest is.

    Thats what we here at the Florida Weekly are for. Begun in as a way of boosting an otherwise dull and deserted time of year in Key West, this day, adults-only festival has since morphed into the largest event in the Florida Keys,and one of the most unique and popular of its kind in the country. To hear locals tell it, the event started out small quaint, even with early themes like Old Key West and Plays of Tennessee Williams.

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    Over time, it naster a decidedly more adult attitude florlda participants of last years Time Travel Unravels seemed to have been bused in from a space-themed comic book convention where clothes were irrelevant and silver body paint ubiquitous. Its doubtful that founding member Joe Liszka could have foreseen todays current iteration of Fantasy Fest. Liszka, who Tikii 9 was busy serving as president of the Tourist Development Association of Monroe County, spent his days wracking his brain for strategies to attract more tourists to the Keys in the offseason. Always popular during the winter months amongst tourists fleeing the cold, business dropped significantly after the weather became more pleasant north of Bds.

    The snow birds flew back to their nests, so to speak, leaving empty hotels and bars and plummeting profits behind them. According to the official history of Fantasy Fest, Liszka lead fellow TDA board member Frank Romano down to Duval Street on Halloween and asked him to report what he saw when the twosome arrived at the quiet, uninhabited roadside. It turned out to be a trick question; Romano saw nothing, which was, Liszka Tikki, precisely the point. The islands residents and shopkeepers had developed a Tikj European habit of boarding up their homes and businesses and leaving for vacation en masse during the scorching florrida months of September and October.

    Key West was sunny and strange all year round. Why should its visitors not take advantage of that fact matser of the year? Liszka felt the island needed an injection of fun, something that would draw crowds and florlda the community during what had become a decidedly dreary time to be in here. Nearly 40 years later, Fantasy Fest is still celebrated during the 10 days leading up to Florid and has become the largest and most profitable of all of Key West events. In the weeks leading up to October, Tiiki stores spring up seemingly Tiki master florida bdsm, their aisles overflowing Tiki master florida bdsm feather boas, fishnet stockings, masks, makeup and wigs.

    But for some annual attendees, prep begins far more than a few weeks before the festivals start. With many of the festivals events offering thousands of dollars in flkrida prizes, seasoned attendees begin work on their costumes six to eight months in advance, or more, with results ranging from Broadway-worthy ensembles to skimpy outfits bordering on obscene. Historically, Key West has been an oasis for some of our nations most dedicated drinkers. Tiki master florida bdsm, during prohibition, Florida remained the wettest state in the Union, maintaining its tourist-driven economy thanks to regular ocean shipments of fish curiously shaped like bottles of bootleg liquor. Mastee eventually the island was forced to clean up its act thanks to a wonderfully devious scheme perpetrated by FBI agents dressed as karate enthusiaststhere exists today a common misconception that during Fantasy Fest, the laws are suspended in favor of an agreed-upon, noholdsbarred celebration that bdsk make Hugh Hefner blush.

    The truth, however, is a bit less exciting: On Friday and Saturday, Oct. Backpacks, coolers, water guns and replica weapons are banned for obvious reasons, while officers astride a herd of bdsk, glossy-hocked police horses perform crowd control duties. Technically, public nudity is illegal in F,orida West, but during Fantasy Fest that law in particular seems to stretch to about a millimeter before its breaking point, much to the delight of participants and, sometimes, to the horror of a few wide-eyed families fresh off a Disney cruise ship whose travel agent neglected to mention their wholesome vacation would coincide with the raunchiest time of the year in the Keys.

    Body painting studios pop up along the length of Duval Street, with women ranging from nubile to decrepit lining up to have their torsos painted which, Key West police officers urge people to remember, still does not actually constitute wearing a top. Therefore, the city requests that all bare breasts painted to appear as twin Basset hounds or otherwise remain inside the designated Fantasy Zone. This years official Fantasy Fest: Oh, The Games We Play! All day Friday and Saturday, Oct. Featuring a wide range of acts including reggae, funk and gospel, the stage at the intersection of Petronia and Fort streets becomes an inclusive dance party for island residents and tourists just beginning their Fantasy Fest vacation.

    Its a joyful two days, accented by the delicious smell of street meat and the promise of all the frozen drinks in hollowed-out fruit your little lush heart could ever desire. It can get hot out there in Bahama Village, so we recommend you hit the pool the Havana Cabana Pool Party, to be exact. The party runs from noon to 5 p. And admission is free, so you have extra mojito money. Of course, no Fantasy Fest is complete without its special brand of monarchy. For those unfamiliar with the symbolic coronation of the King and Queen of Fantasy Fest, youre in luck: Everyone is welcome to attend the official Royal Coronation at the Truman Waterfront Amphitheater from p.

    In true Key West fashion, the election of this years monarchy is less pomp and circumstance, more flamboyant fabulousness, with a three-course plated dinner, a two-hour stage show and appearances by local celebrities. Once crowned, the King and Queen awarded for having raised the most money for Aids Help of Monroe County during their two-month campaigns will preside over the rest of the weeks parties, parades, galas and fetes. Perhaps unsurprisingly, your entertainment options for the week are also on the sultry side. In a production that is one part game show, two parts burlesque and all parts fun, audience members will have a chance to win actual cash and prizes.

    The show runs for six nights only at the beautiful Waterfront Playhouse, and after the success of last years Taking it Off to See the Wizard: A Burlesque Parody, its sure to sell out fast. Sundays ever-popular Zombie Bike Ride is certainly not to be missed. What started as a rag-tag bunch of weirdos careening down South Roosevelt in zombie makeup has evolved into a traffic-stopping, national news-covered theme ride from East Martello to downtown Duval Street. Though the event has become less of a ride than a start-and-stop, slowmoving parade of fantastically zombified riders trying not to crash into one another, bike traffic along the 4-mile route usually decongests enough toward the end of the highway to allow for a friendly breeze or two.

    There are no limits or expectations for costumes; some riders look ready for their next scene on The Walking Dead, while others might smear some fake blood on their shirt and call it a day. But the more effort you put into your costume, the better, since families camp out in chairs along the way, cheering and filming. Its a unique spectacle to be sure. Dress up as your favorite hero or villain, make your way to the finish line as fast as you can and youll be in the running pun intended for prizes including Funniest Costume, and Most Creative Costume. The run ends, as all runs should, with a sunset beach party, after which the beach transforms into a pig roast.

    Forty-five bucks gets you access to a buffet chock full of Cuban classics like sofrito, yucca, tostones, picadillo, and of course, roast pork. Tickets for the luau can be purchased at www. Keep an eye out for pop-up BDSM parties how many times have you heard that one at home? If you want to celebrate the Free Love movement without the actual love part of it, you should find yourself at the Green Parrot for the increasingly cult-status Beatles Band. Past Beatles tribute shows have had rabid fans swinging from the rafters as they danced, laughed and sang along to a set list pulled from decades of Lennon and McCartney hits. Come dressed as your favorite Beatle or in a theme costume and help turn the Parrot into the Summer of Love.

    Shows are at 5: Build up your good karma for the week by attending the Womankind Brazaar at 7 p. Shake your groove thing and support Womankind during its signature decorated bra fundraiser, featuring a high energy live auction of sensational designs with a s game show motif. The night will include a hilarious host, game show participants it could be youspectacular surprises and booby prizes, a rack sale of artisan-crafted bras and a pre-auction disco welcome with sweet treats and libations. Find out wholl be Breast in Show; come as you are or break out your bell bottoms, b utterfly collars and gold lame and make a deal on your favorite fabulous professionally created bra, knowing your partying is supporting preventative care for local ta-tas and Womankinds mission of affordable healthccare for all.

    For a more obvious thrill, theres also the Men of Labare Tighty Whitey Party, featuring the all-male Adonis-like revue made famous by the Magic Mike movies. Dress code encourages sexy white underwear not an oxymoron, contrary to what Cosmopolitan and GQ have to say. If it was good enough for national treasure Channing Tatum, its more than good enough for Key West. One of this authors favorite non-officially sponsored events is Tutu Tuesday, a multi-stop, multi-venue, roving spectacle of tulle and fluff. And since this year is its 10th nniversary, you can expect a blowout unlike any other. Local bar entrepreneur Chris Shultz and his best bud DJ Jevne Miller created the Tutu Party over the last decade have watched it evolve into one of the most outrageous and well-attended events of Fantasy Fest.

    This years Decade-Dance is shaping up to be the most original and best party yet. The organizers have somehow managed to convince the dancing ladies of Teasers to take the night off, which means the stages will be open for all to dance upon.

    Even securities must relevant for money while at your eyes in the atlantic marketplace. And he did it in november fashion by kissing to Paris.

    Artistic genius Marky Pierson is on hand once again Tiko create a labyrinth of passageways to explore every inch of this historic bddm. The infamous Tutu Party DJs will offer up something for everyone in the various rooms Masrer the party complex, and this year they are adding live music in the courtyard. There have been more than 2, people at this event bdsk past two years, and somehow, they have found a way to make room for bvsm. So, fish out that Floida and put on your dancing shoes. This is a Fantasy Fest party you dont want to miss. Fantasy Fest really gets going Wednesday-Saturday, Oct. Some of the legendary ones: Wednesdays Pet Glorida, where a procession of costumed pets and their incredibly crafty owners make their way bssm a stage at the Truman Waterfront Amphitheater to compete for prizes; Wharfstock, Tiiki prototypical pirate hangout Schooner Warf transforms masger into a psychedelic love-child groove fest, complete with body painting contest; the 36th annual Headdress Ball on Thursday, Oct.

    There tlorida also two massive parades: Then, theres Saturdays pice de rsistance: The Official Fantasy Fest Parade, a confetti-throwing, band-booming, masster colorful masterpiece to end the festival on a very, very loud vlorida. If youre still alive by Sunday, congratulations! We have it on very good authority that yes, there will be a fat lady present, yes, she will sing, and that afterwards, all of it, finally, will be over. At least, until we learn the theme for next year. The full list of events, including tickets, start times and contact info for all official Fantasy Fest events can be found at www.

    Those interested in attending any of the weeks unofficial events should utilize Facebook or www. Cultural Day ps to Havana Cuba! We are proud to offer full-service travel arrangements to individuals, groups, families, educators, students, professionals, and organizations under the General License categories issued by the U. Department of the Treasury. Dont Mis the Oportuniy! Brewed in KeyWest, in Drank in theKeys! Every day with live music p. Half-price well drinks and beers www. Drink specials and special happy hour menu www.

    Friday Discounts on selected drinks and beers www. Half-price wine, cocktails and beer Half-price appetizers www. Half-price drinks and tapas www. Half-off starters 2-for-1 draft beer, wine, sangria and mimosas www. Half-price appetizers Half-price beer, wine and well drinksPepes Caroline St. Oysters, clams, shrimp, wings 99 cents each www. Check the website for daily specials Sandbarkeywest. Half off bottled beers, well drinks and house wines Special happy hour menu www. Early bird dinner specials www. Daily drink specials www. Daily Buy one, get one free on selected glasses of wine www. Oh, The Games We Play. The museum hosts a special Royal Retrospective exhibit through Oct.

    The museums location, its connection to the Keys arts community and the historic significance of the landmark building make the Custom House a perfect gateway for folks to gather as they enter this years Fantasy Zone, says Fantasy Fest producer Nadene Grossman Orr. Gateway revelers can avail themselves of a Fantasy Fest information tent in front of the museum, where a festival concierge will have information about all things Fantasy Fest from 11 a. Wednesday through Friday and 11 a. The hub will also include performance artists from p. The Custom House Museums third annual Royal Retrospective exhibit is open during regular museum hours in the first-floor lobby.

    Curated and produced by Dennis Beaver and Cori Convertito, the exhibit takes a look back at decades of Key West Fantasy Fest royalty via memorabilia, keepsakes, photographs and posters. Located half a block from Duval Street with renowned restaurants, legendary bars, live music, theater and shopping. Self-Guided Tours Daily 8: Now, all you have to do is choose which Jeep you want.

    Tii Weve got a wide selection of Jeeps mster choose from. Whether you want a 2-door or 4-door, kaster top, hard top or no top bdsmm all, weve got the perfect Jeep to suit your style and needs. Scroll through the photos of our Jeep vlorida and pick the one you want. We also have minivans and basic cars available! John James Bdm naturalist painter, whose lifelike paintings of bird portraits line the walls of the museumnever actually lived in the Audubon House. But dont let this spoiler keep you from visiting; indeed, a visit to the Audubon House offers so much beauty, charm and historical interest, youll be left feeling only that it was Audubons loss that he was never able to inhabit such a magical place.

    Amassing a fortune from treasure gathered from the ruins mastfr shipwrecks might seem like a job description for a storybook pirate, but in 19th century Key West, it was a florixa and respectable way lforida make a living. The busy passage between florixa Eastern Seaboard and the Gulf Coast was a dangerous place for ships to floria, and each year saw tens flrida boats wrecked Tikk offshore reefs during the frequent storms that pummeled the area. Finders Keepers might not mean much today, mastter for those in the wrecking industry of Key West, it was law.

    When a ship ran aground, the first Tkki to fllrida the boat became the wreck master, whoafter saving the crew and passengers, if possibledirected the salvaging of the ship and its cargo. Back on land, the recovered haul was auctioned off, with the wreck master taking the largest cut of the profits. It was a dangerous, highly competitive and regulated industry, floridq spoils of bdssm helped solidify Key West as the richest city in the country by the mids. For Captain John Huling Geiger, a maritime pilot whose ship wrecking success had made him one of the richest men in the Florida Keys, such wealth demanded a home of appropriate grandeur. Inafter the rest of the island was mostly flattened in a hurricane, Geiger chose a prominent lot on which to build his familys new homea lavish American Classic Revival mansion of tropical wood at the intersection of Green and Whitehead streets, with an unobstructed view of the ocean and any new potential ship wrecks.

    It was a grand, busy estate encompassing 6 acres, home to Geiger, his wife, his children, and a number of slaves who, in addition to domestic chores, were made to assist in the wrecking business that fueled Geigers wealth. For over a century, Geigers home remained in the familys possession, until Geigers great-grandson, Capt. William Bradford Smith, took up residence. Smith, a Key West Harbor pilot, lived in hermitlike seclusion without indoor plumbing, electricity, or cooking facilities, and by the time of his death inthe house had fallen into ruin. Slated for demolition, it was saved in by Mitchell and Frances Wolfson, who were compelled to purchase the property after hearing it was destined to become a gas station.

    The Wolfsons had heard the same folklore that speculated James Audubon might have conceived many of his bird portraits during a visit to the gardens of Dr. Benjamin Strobel, whose home was located on the property where the Geiger family mansion would later be constructed. The Wolfsons began a two-year process of painstaking renovation, the first historical renovation of its kind in Key West, at the end of which marked the rechristening of the Geiger home as The Audubon House Museum. They filled the house with antiques, including many items from the Geiger family, as well as numerous original hand-colored lithographs by Audubon. Today, Key West is known for having one of the most colorful and well-protected historical districts in the United States, with the highest density of historic frame buildings in the nation.

    Yet few who visit know that it was the Wolfsons renovation of the Audubon House that began this now priceless movement to protect and preserve the islands oldest architecture. To this day, the property is cared for through the Mitchell Wolfson Trust, and remains a reputable dealer of original Audubon work. The threestory home is filled with precious antiquities and, of course, with Audubons work, as well as information about the artists life and career. An acre of lush tropical gardens surrounds the home, featuring hundreds of orchids, a koi pond, and a replica of the propertys original s outdoor kitchen building.

    Visitors are encouraged to wind their way through the quiet brick pathways, taking note of the rare tropical plants carefully labeled for those without extensive botanical knowledge and view the medicinal and herb garden, a staple of 19th century upscale homes. Though the museum and its grounds are located in the bustling downtown district, once inside the protective foliage of the grounds, the sights and sounds of the outside world are muffled. Visitors are transported back in time, to an island without tour buses or tee-shirt shops, where fame and fortune awaited any man brave enough to watch the sea for a wrecked ship, and beat his fellow wreckers to the prize.

    The museum offers discounted museum tickets to locals. For more information, call or visit www. The tour comes with the excitement of Frantis new album Stay Human 2, which was released this summer.


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